Male Announcer: You’re listening to From Pain to Possibility with Susi Hately. You will hear Susi’s best ideas on how to reduce or even eradicate your pain and learn how to listen to your body when it whispers so you don’t have to hear it scream. And now here’s your host, Susi Hately.
Hello and welcome back. I am so glad that you’re here because today I have a very special treat. I am sharing with you the first part of a private session that I ran about a week ago with a client who’s been working with me for approximately two months. And when she arrived, she is self-describing herself as being a mess, had a lot of pain.
And she has just completed a trip across the country to visit with her daughter to help her clean out her new home, to carry her granddaughter around. And really, it’s a remarkable description of her journey of listening to her body. How she has become a friend of her body, it feels like her body has become her friend. She did the trip without taking Advil on the way out or on the way back.
It’s a really, really great example of the power of curiosity and of listening. When I asked her for her permission to share this piece, she was honored to share it with you. So I really hope you enjoy it, that you gain the appreciation of what truly, truly, truly is possible. That you can move from pain to possibility. Enjoy the listen.
Carolyn: I feel like I keep wondering does everybody have this journey where like I came to sort of in pieces and within a few weeks it’s like, why was I crying? And now it’s like I’m just understanding my body so much differently and it’s responding by being more relaxed. And I can’t tell you the stuff that I did this weekend that I couldn’t have done two months ago.
And it was nothing athletic, it was like cleaning out cupboards down below, like the lower cupboards. The house my daughter moved into wasn’t cleaned before they moved in. So we were all cleaning trying to get it ready for them.
And I knew that I was pushing, you know I haven’t been able to do child’s pose and all that kind of stuff, but I was down in the cupboards and I could feel like this wasn’t the best but hang in there with me, body, because I’m going to take care of you afterwards. It’s going to be okay. Versus like, oh my gosh, this is starting to hurt.
Honestly my mind would go to, “I know I’m making myself have more pain in the future. I know it’s going to be bad; I don’t know what I’m going to do, I think I’m hurting myself.” Instead of like, “We’re going to do this, we’re going to be okay.” And respecting what the whispers are. I mean I never went into the sharp pain, but I would just listen to the signals and kind of move, I could adapt my movements so that it was minimized.
And then even carrying the five-month-old baby around for a long time and moving with her and playing on the floor with her. And I could feel my body, but it was like I trusted the messengers. It was like there’s a whole new sense of trust.
I came home, I went without taking any Advil on the plane, I came home without taking any Advil on the plane. I sat on soft surfaces with a little discomfort, but I had to do it. I mean, I was in a position where I had to do it. No, I didn’t have to do it, I was playing with it. I was playing with it and just seeing what I could do.
And, I mean, I feel great today, I got back yesterday. I go through much longer periods without pain than I ever thought I would. So thank you.
Susi: You’re welcome. And I have a question for you because inside of that, what you said is there was a way of thinking before, and there’s a way of thinking now. But you didn’t superimpose some better form of thinking in order to have the experience that you had.
Something sounds like it significantly shifted between, “Oh, I’m going to be sore later and the future of the pain is going to be so much worse.” That is an entirely different state or way of being than what you just explained. What got you here? I’m listening to the whispers, I know you’re letting me know we’re working together and not like, “Okay, I’m going to endure this thing.”
Carolyn: No, but you really want to know what it was?
Carolyn: It was a turning point, one of our sessions, I think you ended it and you said, “Carolyn, I really want you to get this.” And I thought, “Okay, I’m going to really work on that.” So I mean I purposefully, it was a decision on my part to look at this differently.
And my body is giving me clues that this is working, our movements are working. And I think I developed a confidence in that. In that knowledge that things can be good even with my situation.
Susi: What’s interesting about that is you came with a whole series of sensations, a whole lot of concern, and lot of unknowns, which were leading to a lot of concern, worry, and fear. We did some movement, we did some relaxation, we did some breathing and things started to settle down.
And what you said is that you gained some confidence and it was like your brain got evidence for another reality to be possible.
Susi: So now you can have these two separate realities and then you had the opportunity to hold onto a little bit of like, “Oh, interesting, this is actually possible.” So when I said after one session, it’s so funny, I can’t remember I even said it. But when I said I really want you to get this, what’s the this? What was the this that you interpreted that I wanted you to get?
Carolyn: I needed to believe that I could get better. I think I was still moving in a pattern of fear. I think you wanted me to know that my body is capable of healing. I don’t remember the exact words, but I went back and I listened to it again. In fact, I’ve done that with each of the sessions because there’s so much good stuff in here, it’s good to go back and listen.
And funny how I remembered it differently than what it– When I went back and watched it, it was different than what I remembered, but they we both good. So it had to do with kind of believing, having a trust and a confidence in my healing process. And my body is in the messages and just knowing that the healing was happening.
It’s a healing, but it’s a different kind of healing. Like you’re not making my, whatever it is I have go away, but you are teaching me to move in a way that optimizes what I have. And that means that I can still do things. It opened up possibilities instead of problems. So I needed to believe in that, that’s what I kind of remember. But I should go back and re-watch that one too, to remember the exact words.
But that’s when I decided to give it a chance. I think the fear, when the fear went away, it’s not that I don’t have fear anymore, but it’s not nearly what it was. And I recognize it now too. I can really feel the fear when it happens. And then it usually goes away, I’m kind of like, “You don’t need to be afraid; this isn’t something you need to be afraid of.” So managing that fear has been huge for me too.
Susi: You’re not arguing with the reality that fear is present.
Carolyn: No. No, I don’t because I think fear is real and I think it serves a purpose. it’s just when it kind of overtakes me. I don’t really have that anymore right now. I mean I have fears, for sure. But not like when I think I told you I would wake up in the middle of the night and my shoulders would be up by my ears, that hasn’t been happening.
So it’s not super constant, it comes and it might be something about getting sick or whatever it is. But I’m really working on, my relationship with fear is changing, I would say.
Susi: When the belief changes, the thinking and the opinions change. And then our emotional experience changes. Like what we know is possible changes.
Susi: Hence the name of what I do is Pain to Possibility.
Susi: Right? Because only at that point, which is why I spend so much time talking about and being in the person’s body to give an objective reality of what is. Because while the subjective experience is so incredibly vital, when we can tie it in and team it with the objective reality of what your body can and can’t do, then you start to be able to see what you are capable of in terms of helping yourself. And then when you see you’ve done it to yourself, that changes the belief pattern.
Carolyn: Yeah, I can see that.
Susi: And it just opens the door a crack, and then another crack, and then another crack, and then that’s when it starts to really get the momentum of really shifting up, like yeah, these emotions are fine, they’re not horrible. They’re here on purpose so let’s talk with them, let’s be with them, let’s just be aware of them. Let’s not shove them aside, let’s be in that space with them.
Carolyn: Yeah, and I really focused on kind of fear is the thing, but I’m sure there are other things that are kind of floating around out there. But fear seems to be my big buddy.
So yeah, it’s been interesting and I sort of feel like you’re talking about the koshas in this in a very approachable way, and I appreciate that. It feels very familiar so I can absorb it really well, I think, what you’ve done and where you’re going with this. It’s pretty fun to see how you do that. I don’t think I was expecting it, so that was fun.
Susi: Did you love that? Was that not great? If you have found yourself sort of sinking into just the amazingness of her sharing of her experience and you want some of that for yourself or you’re a professional who wants to be able to do that for one of your clients or many of your clients, I’ve got two options for you. The first one is if you want to work privately with me, one to one, then you can reach us at [email protected]
And if you want to join us and learn the basic foundations of what it is to work with a client in this way, to have and experience these gains, even yourself these gains, join me at the intensive. We’re running one in March and in April this year. I would love to teach you the gems that I know to help lots of people like this client, again, move from a place of pain to possibility, eradicate pain. Join me. Email us at [email protected]