Male Announcer: You’re listening to From Pain to Possibility with Susi Hately. You will hear Susi’s best ideas on how to reduce or even eradicate your pain and learn how to listen to your body when it whispers so you don’t have to hear it scream. And now here’s your host, Susi Hately.
Welcome back to From Pain to Possibility. And with this episode I want to continue the conversation I started last episode around money. A lot of people believe that money gives you power. I don't believe them. And I can say that because of what I've seen in my own life and in the lives of those who I work with.
As I go through this episode, you're going to hear a lot of similarities with other things that I've talked about that aren't money related. But they are recovery and healing related. And you'll hear a theme, which is very similar to one of my favorite lines, which is where the pain is, is not the problem.
Where most of the difficulties that people have in recovering from pain reducing symptoms have very little to do with the actual area of pain. And likewise, when it comes to money, most of the difficulties I've seen women struggle with have very little to do with money.
What I have seen is that most of their issues stem from their own uncertainty, doubt, and hesitancy with power, and really stepping into it, claiming it, and owning it. Why? A big reason is what we, as women, think power is because what we've been taught about power. And for whatever reason, men and women view power very differently.
Where generally speaking women see power more collaboratively, in relationship to, in power with. Whereas the male model has been more about asserting control and power over. When we as women step into power, from our feminine perspective so much changes. We become more aligned with our true nature, our essential essence, with what makes us tick at our deepest self.
And when we're there our work becomes easier, more effortless. And yes, of course, there will still be the hard bits but because we have alignment with ourselves, the quality of the struggle and the challenge is very different. There's less resistance and less friction.
Now, as I mentioned a moment ago, it really is extraordinary how this, this relationship to power from a feminine perspective has such a relationship to the impact on recovery and healing in our human potential.
The number of times I've seen trainees when they really understand this concept and understand relationship of how their pain and symptoms fade away and their businesses take off. How their overall struggle dissipates, disperses, melts away. It's all about this embodiment of empowerment.
There's a natural down regulation of their nervous system and so much clarity in the mind. Their digestion improves, anxiety settles, back pain goes away, because it's all related.
So, what I really want to impart here is when you begin to see power in this way, you can see how fearing power really is fearing who you really are meant to be and not diminishing yourself. And that the reclamation of power really is about embodying yourself and of giving birth to yourself. Of not sidestepping the energy that is you.
Think about it, think about those times when you are not honoring your true voice. Think about those times when you have pushed aside understanding or learning about money. Or pushed aside reaching out to and connecting with clients.
Now this might bring up some uncomfortable feelings. And I get it. I mean, I get how scary this is to think about. I get how disconcerting it can be. It really and truly is a real experience of feeling fear about taking that step.
We have decades and decades and decades and decades, we could say centuries of these unconscious beliefs that have just moved through our cultural awareness, through our DNA. Which is why I want to take you through the following exercise, because you simply can't ignore money.
Even if you think you are a financial mess. Even if you think you're financially clueless. The first step in reclaiming your inner power and reclaiming your power around money is about trusting yourself. I know, I'm going to reiterate it. It might feel a bit scary. And the feeling in your body might be one of nervousness, or trepidation, or apprehension. You might even feel fidgety as you're listening to this. That's all good, you're in the right place. I have your back.
In a moment I'm going to address those particular feelings, however you're naming them. So if you can try not to push them away. Just try to be with them so that you can move beyond habit and routine.
I'm going to move you into a couple of exercises to help you connect and reclaim. So grab a piece of paper and a pen, or if you want open up the note section on your phone. These are exercises that I have done myself and they've enabled me to really connect to the feelings inside.
And as a result, I've grown a solid foundation of trust inside of myself. I'm able to connect to my higher power, and to those people who really are trustworthy people. And I'm better able than ever at finding people who can specifically help me. But that's because I was able to connect to my inner world more clearly with better, more nimble connection.
So the idea of these exercises is to support you in that process. And when I've shared them with the students and the trainees that I teach, very similar results happen for them.
So let's begin first, if we go back to just thinking about the feelings that are present for you, and see if you can name them. So I called them uneasiness, apprehension, trepidation, maybe there's tension, maybe there's jaw tension. Or maybe there's like a feeling of physical somatic kind of tension in your body or tightness.
Maybe there's a fidgetiness. Maybe there's like a vibration, like my hand’s kind of doing like a “Woo, woo, woo.” Maybe there's something like that. Maybe your guts are churning. Maybe your feet are getting tight. Maybe there's excitement, maybe there's inspiration. See if you can name the feelings, whatever it is that you're experiencing inside your body.
And notice what those feelings and qualities are because they are part of the human experience. They're on the spectrum of feeling. And they mean something in the sense that because you are feeling them, they are real.
And since we are in a culture that doesn't tend to feel a whole lot, it's important to actually do the work of feeling them. That will give you so much more power, because now you're connecting with your inner space. So see whichever ones you can name, and maybe there's only one, maybe there's a few, but see if you can name them.
Name, the one that's in your belly, or in your heart, or in your ribs, or in your feet, or in your jaw. Wherever you're noticing it in your body, name it. And it might be the same name for all the areas in your body. But see if you can name it.
And then once you've got it named, then notice the color, or the shape. Maybe there's a musical tone, like it's loud, or it's quiet, maybe it's soft, or hard, or deep, or empty. See if you can put a word to it and name it. So you've got a color, and then maybe a texture. You're just getting a sense of what this quality of feeling is. And then take one of them. And with that one, name the opposite.
So perhaps you named one apprehension. And the opposite could be, as an example, confidence. Or it could be clarity, or it could be solid. We could have many different opposites to that word. You choose the opposite of the word that you described a feeling that sits somewhere in your body.
So notice the opposite, and then find in your body where that opposite resides. So maybe if you felt apprehension in your belly, you might feel confidence in your feet. And then notice what that feeling of confidence feels like. What the color is, what any other texture is.
And then come back to the original feeling and notice if there's anything new or different about that original feeling. And go back and forth between these. Just notice if anything starts to shift as you pay attention to them by simply paying attention.
Because what you start to notice is that you can be in the sensation and feel the sensation, and you can also be separate from the sensation. You can bear witness to this sensation or you could be in this sensation. So you have these two ways of being with it. And the idea is it's not that one is better than the other, it's noticing what it is that you're actually doing and how you're actually being. And just go back and forth.
Sometimes what can happen is even if sensations don't change at all, not that we're looking for them to change, but if there's not a shift, there is a shift in one's own awareness of one’s self. By paying attention to that. what we're experiencing, adds a whole bunch of power.
So you start to tune into what power actually is for yourself. And oftentimes what occurs out of that is because now you're sensing that you have a certain amount of control over the experience that you're having, you build up what I call your internal locus of control. Which is a really, really safe space to sit.
It's given you some time to commune with your inner world, your inner depth. And you can feel the verberations and the vibrations in your body, knowing that you can be in them and swim inside of those sensations. And you can be outside of them, and you can watch them. So you can be aware of yourself in them, and you can be aware of yourself outside of them and watching them.
And then you notice that you have power with them. Other things might come up that bubble up, messages, or inspirations, or intuitions, or connections. Problems you might have been trying to solve, answers start to come to you of how you can solve them. These are all great examples of this feminine essence of power.
Where we're not trying to push stuff away and shove stuff aside, only providing a polished view of ourselves. But actually connecting and being in relationship to ourselves, and to our sensations, and to our experience. Because when we can be in relationship with ourselves, we can be in better relationship with all other things around us, including money, including people who can support us in our learning about money and our working with money.
And then what begins to shift is the fear that we had about money, now we can be with that fear, with that concern, with that apprehension. And it doesn't stop us. We can be present to it and still take a step. You don't need to shove it aside. You don't need to pretend. We can be with it.
So you can do this for one sensation at a time or one body area at a time, or you can do it collectively with all the ones that you're experiencing. Just notice yourself with what your bandwidth is and how you want to work with it. And then when you're ready I want to show you another exercise that you can play with.
I want you to take a moment and I want you to list out all of the desires that you have. And these are the types of things like if money were not an option what would you really love to be, do, or have? And some of these may have zero to do with money. But list out desires.
And what's interesting as you go through this, or if you're feeling like you're stuck, you might even want to list out your complaints. I often find that complaints are just the opposite of desire.
So if we take a look at the complaint, and what it is, “I wish blah, blah, blah,” and there's a complaint there. Now phrase it as a desire. What do you really want to have happen there? What you're complaining about is X, what do you really want to have happen instead? And that is a desire.
Now, as you list these out, the desires and then perhaps the complaints which are hiding the desire, as you list these out you might start to notice these feelings come back up again. Whether it's apprehension, or overwhelm, or trepidation, or concern, or uneasiness.
And then you can go back to the first exercise of like, okay, where does this feel in my body? What color is it? Is there a root to it? Does it have some space around it? What's the texture of it? What's the color of it?
Once you spend some time with that, then ask yourself, “Okay, where's the opposite of this? What's the opposite of this feeling? What's the opposite of this experience? And where does this reside in my body?” Now, let me go there and let me explore that quality.
And then come back to the original one and just notice. So, again, you're training your ability to be both aware of yourself in the experience, and being in the experience. And there's something really powerful about watching yourself in the experience.
Not trying to make it change or go away, but simply being present to what is. And then watching the transformation, the transmutation, and sometimes the release of tension or strain that simply starts to shift because we are being present. Not from a power over perspective, but from a power with perspective.
As I alluded to, and briefly mentioned, at the earlier part of this episode there's a strong correlation between what I've just spoken about and pain and strain or persistency of chronic symptoms. And I don't want to step over that fact, because so often I have seen people who are struggling financially and something like a combination lock gets the right combo.
And something just changes as they are starting to release the pain, shift the pain. The process of that is coming into oneself, tapping into one's human potential. That to me is really what the opportunity for pain and tension really is.
So as we relate it to money again, what I want to emphasize as I finish this up is the relationship between tapping into one's own inner power in a way that is truly aligned to who you are. Whether it's a female model or a feminine model, or a masculine model. Tuning into that which is true to yourself.
And it just so happens that most of my clientele lean toward a feminine focused model. Power with model. A staying connected or a reclaiming of connection model. Because what they have seen is the power over, the shoving aside is truly shoving aside the essential nature of who they are.
And when they can reclaim that and they can re-know that, so much changes. That is power. That is inherently why I'm running this course, Women, Money, and Yoga.
Because remarkable things happen when women really learn about money and the connection to themselves. And they learn how to make it, and save it, and grow it. Remarkable things happen when yoga professionals who are women can tap into that art and that power of yoga. Blending that sacred art with the skill and understanding of money. Amazing stuff happens.
So with that, I really encourage you that if this resonates for you, even if it's a little fearful but you've got that nudge, join us for Women, Money, and Yoga. I would love to see you on the inside and really help develop and grow your capacity for connecting to yourself. And then ultimately, with money, with your deep sense of power and what that can all bring you, to your family, and to the world around you.
There's two ways to get access to the program. You can email us at [email protected]
, or you can go directly to the website which is functionalsynergy.com/womenyogamoney. I look forward to seeing you on the inside. Take good care.