Podcast: Episode 92: It Depends

We live in a culture that honors formal evidence and rules. And rules do make things easier at times. But what I have found over almost 30 years of helping people reduce and eradicate pain is that rules don’t apply to a lot of people. There are two really important words that matter more: it depends.

Holding those two words loosely as principles instead of law will provide you with a guide to help your client to grow awareness about what’s going on in their body and own the process. When my students let these two words seep into them and marinate through them, they achieve extraordinary results, and I’m showing you how to do the same this week.

Listen in as I’m sharing what I see these two words really mean and how to utilize them to get better results for our own selves but also ourselves as practitioners for our clients. Part of making progress and creating extraordinary results requires us to meet people where they’re at, so I’m showing you how “it depends” helps you do that.

Subscribe:   Apple Podcasts   |   Spotify  

What You'll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why I don’t have any higher authority than my client or trainee.
  • The reason it is so vital to pay attention to the person with the condition and find out how it’s being expressed.
  • How clarity is power.
  • The problem with falling into the trap of rules.
  • What it means to be in partnership.
  • Why people are more than their condition, they are human beings.

Featured on the Show:

  • If you want to learn about how powerful “It Depends” is, become solid in your skills and grow a business, chat with us about the intensive and certification program. If you’d rather work with me 1:1, you can speak about that too. Email us at [email protected] for more information.

Full Episode Transcript:

Male Announcer: You’re listening to From Pain to Possibility with Susi Hately. You will hear Susi’s best ideas on how to reduce or even eradicate your pain and learn how to listen to your body when it whispers so you don’t have to hear it scream. And now here’s your host, Susi Hately.

Welcome back. With this episode, I want to dig into two really important words: it depends. Those people who are in my certification program, even people who are in my one to one three month training programs, and certainly in the therapeutic yoga intensive, they hear it so often, that they have a smile. They even know that I'm about to say it depends before I even say it.

But really and truly, those words are used so often. And I teach around, and through, and how to utilize those words to get great results. Because when my trainees, as they become grads, they really sink in and let those words seep into themselves and really marinate through them, it's extraordinary the results that they get.

So I want to dig in a little bit to what I see those words to really mean and how we can utilize them to get better results for our own selves, and for ourselves as practitioners with our clients. But before I get there, I do want to make mention of the certification program and the standalone, but also module one program of cert, which is the therapeutic yoga intensive.

Now this is coming up, we have the intensive happening in March and April, this year. Two separate programs because I take small groups for each of those programs. And then the full remaining bit of the certification starts in June.

So if you are wanting to learn about how powerful it depends is and become really solid in your skills, and grow a business, that's also key, then you'll want to chat with Kia about the intensive and the certification program and how it can serve you and see if it's a fit.

Now, if you're not somebody looking for certification training, but want to work with me, you can also speak with her about one to one, the three month series online that I work with clientele to help them reduce their pain, eradicate their pain, and really embody this notion of it depends. So that you can have the strength, and the mobility, and really the power that you really want for yourself and the freedom you want in your life, no matter what your condition is.

So, it depends. We live in a culture that honors evidence, formal evidence, and rules. It makes things easier at times, but what I have found over almost, goodness, 30 years of helping people reduce and eradicate pain is that rules don't apply to a lot of people. They're a really interesting place to begin. And especially if we hold them loosely as principles as opposed to the word of law, they're a place to begin.

But ultimately, especially if you're growing your career, you're going to recognize that those rules just don't work. That if we use them as principles, then they provide a guide. But really and truly, when you work with your people, you will see more and more that it really does depend.

So the aim, then that you want to grow is this capacity to be with a growing awareness. And dare I say the word feeling, but truly to feel what's going on in your body and to help, if you're a practitioner, to help your client feel and grow their awareness about what's going on in their own body. Because if you can grow that capability, that capability of growing awareness and of feeling, you're really going to sink into the power of it depends.

Part of making progress and getting extraordinary results, thinking about this concept of it depends requires us to meet people where they're at. And I know that that's a line that's used a lot. Meeting people where they're at, like what the heck does that actually mean?

For me, what it means is to connect and to listen. It's recognizing that I don't have any higher of authority than my client or my trainee. That we each bring in a pile of experience and we each have a pile of expertise in our lives. And they just happen to be showing up because they recognize that I have a level of expertise that they are wanting, or they feel is going to help them in their journey.

So I recognize that we really are on the same level. And there is an intent that I have with my clients where there's an expectation for them coming to the table. So I'm not actually doing anything to fix them. I'm not the one solving their problem. I'm with them, I'm alongside them, but they have as much skin in the game, they have as much ownership of the process. as I do.

We're working in partnership here. And to be in partnership means to listen, it means to connect. It means to recognize that there's going to be some things that my clients do or don't do that I might agree or not agree with. And it's to recognize when I have those triggers inside of me, of agreement or non-agreement. And it's recognizing that there is this relationship here. And what is my job?

And what I see as being key here next to the basic fundamentals of a relationship, is that they are a human being. I know, I know, it's obvious, right? But really, they are more than their condition. Yes, their condition has significance and importance for how it's playing out in their life. And it's just a condition.

And the reason I say that is for a couple of reasons. The first is that I've had people come in and have a diagnosis one way and then the next week or two weeks later they have another diagnosis. Oh, no, it's not that, it's this. Next time they come in, nope, no, it's not that, it's this. So if I relied solely on my programming based on the condition, I would not help many of the people that I do help.

So that's why it's so vital to be able to pay attention to the person themselves who happens to have this condition and to find out how this condition is being expressed. And with that, that there has yet been a condition that someone has come with that has not improved when they've improved their ability to be aware, their ability to move, to reduce their compensation, and to grow their overall inner sense of self. Which is in part growing their awareness.

So often people can be bamboozled by their condition. I mean all they need to do is go on to Dr. Google and see what is all possible. And that can wreak havoc on their brains and the way that their brains feel things in their body. So the key here is recognizing if that's what's going on. What makes up this person who is actually my client here? What drives them? What gets them out of bed in the morning? What makes up their life? What outcomes do they seek?

And even if I don't agree with those outcomes, if I think those outcomes are Pollyanna, who am I to say that? Let's break down whatever that dream or desire is to its component parts and let's start working toward it. Meeting people where they're at, they aren't their condition.

If you can grow those two particular skills, you will notice that your results for yourself, and if you're working with a client, are going to grow exponentially. The condition isn't the end game. Recognize who they are, what gets them out of bed in the morning, and move them towards the outcome they desire.

And in that process, what you're doing is you're teaching them skills and tools. Skills and tools that can grow their ability to feel, to be aware, to gain clarity, right? Clarity is power. If we're just throwing a protocol because they have a condition, we miss all of that. We miss the inherent power of healing.

But if we just step back and slow it down a little bit, teach them some skills and tools, we enable them to own the process. And that owning of the process arises out of our ability to teach them by meeting them where they're at, recognizing they're not just a condition, and that our authority is not over top of their own inner authority. Those are so important and those are what contributes to it depends.

Now, I will say that I think I have been lucky in two ways. The first is that I had a sister who has passed away but 15 years ago. She was my twin sister, or is my twin sister, and she was born with a congenital disability, part of her brain didn't form. And as a result, kids like her in the 70s were put away into institutions.

Then there was a political shift, deinstitutionalize happened 16 years later and she was brought back to live in the community. What was so fascinating though, is that in the three years of her coming out of the institution she had more growth and gain than she had in the institution. It was believed that she would never be able to communicate. And we were able to help her learn how to use a communication board.

So she was able to have basic communication. She was able to feed herself. So those might sound like small tasks, but in truth the fact is they said she would never be able to do any of that. In fact, they said she would never live past one, never mind 10. Never all the way to 35. So inherently and innately in me I've never had the tendency to pigeonhole because of that fact alone. That despite what people said, despite what apparent authorities said about her, she really defied the odds.

Along with that, I haven't had formal, formal in-school rehabilitation training. I received training in principles of movement, my kinesiology degree afforded me that. So then when I went to work in the pain world helping people reduce pain, it became really clear to me, particularly after I got my yoga certification, that my key skills were breath, movement, and stillness.

I had this biomechanical understanding that really was quite helpful. But the reality was, I had breath, movement, and stillness. That's what I taught my people. I didn't have scalpels, I didn't have needles, I didn't have manual techniques. I didn't have all those things that are afforded to a physical therapist, massage therapist, chiropractor, physician, acupuncturist, you name it. But I loved it.

And I've always loved it. Because the key is it enabled me to play in the world of it depends. I didn't have to fall into the trap of evidence only. My evidence was what was happening clinically.

The condition, yes, is significant. But how does this person move who has this condition? How does this person with breast cancer differ from that person with breast cancer? Oh, yes, because that person with breast cancer also has A, B, C, and D, both in a physical symptom, but also with what's going on in their family and what's going on in their world.

So if we can then just recognize, okay, yes, there's a condition present. They have a desire, an outcome they seek. We can help them own the process through some really basic skills, but powerful skills of breathing, moving better, and stillness. And then from there continuing to add load, add complexity, and help them move towards what it is they really, really want.

All conditions are expressed differently. To fall into the trap of rules means to fall into a bit of a case where you're not seeing who the person actually is. So step back for a moment and consider who is the person that you're engaging with? What is it that they really want? Are your own beliefs getting in the way of the process based on what you think is possible for them?

Don't underestimate the power of your own belief in thinking about your clients. It has impact. I'm not trying to tell you to be Pollyanna or to change your beliefs, just recognize what they are. And step back and see what theirs are. And how can you help realize their desires based off of their own beliefs? You might just surprise yourself with how your results change dramatically.

If this is interesting for you and you're interested in digging in more, our intensives are coming up March and April. Small groups, thorough attention, lots of room to make mistakes. Really uncovering your own belief patterns about healing and getting better. Recognizing that it all depends and really drilling into the skills and tools that help you build that for yourself, for your own healing process, as well as helping your clients.

Send us a note to he[email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Enjoy the Show?

Healing and Revealing Human Potential

If you're ready to dig deeper, join me for this on-going program and explore your full potential.
If you want to enrol or have questions and wish to speak to Kiya directly, reach out to us by filling out the form below.