Podcast: Episode 49: States of Being and Success

My genius lies in helping other people feel and connect into their states of being and in doing so, I help them reduce and eradicate pain. So when they are in their business world, they can channel their own genius in a way that’s powerful, serving themselves as well as serving the people they are meant to serve.

Innately, I have always known that at the root of healing is love, and at the root of business is rest. But this is counterintuitive to what we hear out there, and I’m exploring this further this week.

In this episode, I’m digging into feeling and states of being and showing you how to notice when you are in what I refer to as the three main states. I’m walking you through an exercise to help you connect into and honor these states and showing you how to have your own back no matter which state you are in.

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What You'll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why so many of my clients come to me feeling depleted.
  • The reason that feeling and knowing your state of being is important and powerful.
  • What the greatest form of self-love is.
  • How to recognize what’s contributing to the states you are in.
  • Why being able to tap into feeling and states of being is necessary to connect with yourself.

Featured on the Show:

  • If you resonated with this conversation, you are going to love my upcoming program Revealing Human Potential. It is my best work to date, and is filled with conversations and concepts I’ve only ever shared privately. Email us at [email protected] for more information and to sign up.

Full Episode Transcript:

Male Announcer: You’re listening to From Pain to Possibility with Susi Hately. You will hear Susi’s best ideas on how to reduce or even eradicate your pain and learn how to listen to your body when it whispers so you don’t have to hear it scream. And now here’s your host, Susi Hately.

With this episode I want to dig into feeling and states of being. It’s a concept I teach about in my yogi business program with my private clients one to one, as well as in the certification program that I run. It’s important because to be able to tap into your feeling and states of being is necessary for connecting to yourself. And being able to connect to yourself is vital in the process of healing and it’s also vital in the process of business success.

I like to say that at the foundation of healing is love and at the foundation of business is rest. And I realize that this is somewhat counterintuitive to what we hear out there. Because inherently recovery implies that there’s something wrong in your body and or your mind that needs to be fixed. And that in business inherently it’s a depleting process, one of numbers, one of it’s not personal it’s just business, which inherently is just soul sucking and depleting.

It’s why I think so many of my trainees when they come into my program, and clientele who come into my one-to-one three-month series, are so depleted. They know they don't want to feel this way but they don't know how to get to the other side. And there's this inherent conflict about what is truly aligned with them and what they see out there. And that in and of itself can be very tiring.

Even for me, I have had to learn this process. Innately inside of me I have always known that at the root of healing is love, at the root of business is rest. But it took me a while to actually get to that space. And the vehicle through which I have figured it out, is really within my body and my mind. I had to tap into and really build some consistency, and sustainability, and stamina, around paying close attention to the truth of my body and my mind.

I didn't enter into the world as a businessperson. I didn't take a business degree. But I am someone who deeply cares, who's highly intuitive and can see the subtleties in another person. In the past, I would say I cared too much. I had a tendency towards martyring myself, and that in and of itself was depleting. I would give so much to another person, I so wanted them to get well.

When I started to get to a place of success and I realized that I needed to understand more about business I faced a huge conflict. Because what I was asked to do was pay attention to numbers, pay attention to spreadsheets, pay attention to trends. It felt heartless, it felt disconnected. It didn't seem aligned with my kind and gentle heart. But here I was in this incredible predicament. I knew that I was martyring myself. But I didn't see my way out.

And as I was learning business principles, as challenging as it was, something started to come to light for me. And I figured it out. I called it the integration of my business mind and my craft as an artist. Because at the heart of this I am an artist. My genius lies in helping other people feel and connect into their states of being.

And by doing so I help them reduce and eradicate pain. I help them in an extraordinary way how to reduce autoimmune flares and recover from surgery in a remarkable fashion. So that when they are in their business world, they're able to channel their own genius in a way that is very powerful because they are serving themselves as well as serving the people they're meant to serve. And how powerful is that?

When the businessperson, when the yoga therapist, or the health professional is connected to themselves and are able to feel the ebb and flow of their own energy. And they're able to channel that in a way that serves their other client, then depletion is off the table.

This is why feeling, this is why knowing your state of being is so incredibly important. And also so incredibly powerful, and really is what will take you from being in that depleted state into that state that's really truly aligned to the most creative element of yourself. And when you're able to do that, when you're able to take depletion off the table, you now have a greater container of rest.

The concern of being taken away from your family or not having enough fuel in your tank to go for your dreams, that's completely off the table because you are connected to yourself. You are connected to the truth; you are aligned internally. And when you're in that state, you're in that connected and knowing, in that state of flow. You are not in a fight or flight state, you are not in a collapse state.

So this is the segue into the meat of this episode, is I want you to connect into these three states. I’m going to take you through a bit of an exercise that you'll probably want to explore and play with over the course of the week.

I want you to come into your body and breathe. And I want you to notice these states of being. When you know that you're in this knowing state. When you can connect and know when you're in fight or flight. When you can connect or know you're in that collapse state. Because when you're in each of those states you are going to do actions that are different.

When you're in a knowing intuitive state, you will do certain actions. When you are in a stress response or a fight or flight state you will do certain actions. When you are in a frozen or in a collapse state you will do certain actions. And as well, you're going to notice different thinking patterns associated with those states.

If you can get clear on when you're in each of those states, and none of them are wrong. It's more that you recognize what you do or you don't do. Right? It's like when we're doing movement in our practice. You can move in a compensated way, it's not wrong. You just recognize that you're doing it in a certain way and you recognize the results of that. So you don't have to beat yourself up or get down on yourself. You just recognize what it is that you're doing.

But knowing that clarity is what is vital. And you can then make a clearer choice in supporting yourself moving forward. I want you to be able to honor whatever those states are. Honor and discern and be deliberate about what state that you're in, right? Because you will make different choices when you are in a collapsed state. You will make different decisions when you are in a connected state. You will make different decisions when you are in that fight or flight state.

All right, so now let's explore this. Take a moment and breath. And sit back and consider when you have had moments of knowing, capital K knowing. One of my trainees recently called this when she is in her element. I had another trainee call it being in flow. When you're in that state, what does it feel like? Can you name it? Can you name the qualities associated with that state? Is there something in your mind? Is there a clarity of your mind? Is there a feeling in your belly, in your pelvic floor, in your eyes or your skin?

Just think back to a time where you fundamentally knew something. You can call it your intuitive state. You can call it just being connected and knowing. You just knew, you didn't have to have intellectual reasoning about why you were doing something, you just simply knew.

And then take a moment and consider your fight or flight state, that stress response, state that bulldozing type of state. The state where you're getting shit done, but in a way that's a bit constrained. Your tight, your jaw is tight. Maybe your pelvic floor gets a little bit grippy. Maybe you hold your breath, you’re bearing down. You're pushing through.

What does it feel like for you when you're in that state? I've had trainees call it the bulldozing state, which is where I got that term from. Not thinking just doing was another name. Fight or flight was another name. Yelling at the air was another name. When you're in that state, what does that feel like?

And then when you're in that collapse state, it's the escape state. So maybe it's hiding under the covers, or in a box, or behind a tree, or behind the proverbial Mama's apron, frozen. I've had trainees call it the freeze. Some of them call it being underneath the covers, hiding. So when you're in that state.

Now what I really want to emphasize is these states, none of them are wrong. The key is that you're clear on what it is that you're doing. You might be out there in business and you run a marketing campaign. And your results are awful. Like what you expected to get out of the marketing campaign was nothing that you thought it was going to be and it was for all intents and purposes a failure. And that might lead you into a collapse state. That might be a trauma response for your nervous system and you collapse.

That's a perfectly normal response to this scenario. So it's not about telling yourself what you're doing is wrong. It's recognizing that you're there, and what support can you give yourself when you're there? This is a process of you helping yourself have your own back. And knowing what you can give yourself. You don't need to kick yourself when you're down or kick yourself in the butt to get yourself going. It's more about can you love yourself for where you're at? What would love do? What would rest do? How can you take really good care?

And so the more clear you can be on each of these states, and when you're there, the more you know what you can do for yourself to give you the support that you need. Okay, now let’s take a pause and a big breath. You might be still working through this in your own brain. So put a pause on me if you want to keep working through this.

Where I want to get to next is now that you've got some idea of what these states are, and having listened to this you might find that over the course of the week or two that more ideas come to mind when you're in those because you might actually notice yourself in each of those states. That knowing, intuitive, that agile ninja type of Jedi state. Or the fight or flight, bulldozing state. Or that frozen collapsed, hiding in a box kind of state.

You might notice when you're in each of those more and more and more clearly. And you might be able to be more deliberate and have more discernment. The next part of this is, can you notice the factors that contribute to those states emerging?

And this is where your power really, really lies. I call it the yellow lights or the whispers. So if you think about a light standard, red, red, yellow, and green. The idea is, is when you're in that depleted state, when you're in pain, when clients come to see me in those states, I call them the red light. And then my focus is to help them get to yellow, and to recognize what moves in between red and yellow. And then ultimately, to help them get to that yellow and green.

And when we're building this sustainable well of rest, it's helping someone move between yellow and green. So it takes a little bit of work to get to yellow. Then you hone yourself in at yellow, and then this idea of yellow to green really starts to emerge. And in the process of that you're paying attention to some of those little nudges, those whispers that you might not have clued into. Those indicators that pass you by because they're not really getting in the way.

But as you're able to get quieter inside and notice them they become not so subtle anymore, they become quite in your face. And you're like, “Oh, that's something that if I keep following that is going to lead to depletion, or is going to lead to a stress response, or is going to lead to a collapse response. Well, maybe I should actually do this marketing tactic a different way. Maybe I should address or engage with this client of mine in a different way. Or maybe I need to do more of this.”

So the idea here is can you notice the indicators that are leading you to any one of these states? And as you start to recognize that, like I said, it becomes really powerful, you might even notice that it may have to do with the amount of sleep or the quality of sleep you get at night. Or it might have to do with what you've eaten. You'll just start to recognize what contributes.

Again, maybe it's how much activity you've had, or if you had your meditation practice or whatever. I mean, it could be many, many, many different things. But recognizing what's contributing to the states that you're experiencing. And then as you get a greater map and a greater understanding of what's contributing to those states, then you can start to intervene and support yourself even earlier so you don't fall into the trap of the depleted or of the collapse.

Or rather, the more you can recognize it, the less you'll fall into that fight or flight response or the collapse response that ultimately leads to that depleted state. You build up the well, that sustainable well of stamina around being in that knowing, of being in your Jedi, of being in that agile, nimble space of capital K knowing.

Yes, initially this takes a little bit of work. And initially, there will not be a lot of people, typically, in your world who listen as closely as I'm asking of you. But as I said at the beginning of this episode is, in our world it's somewhat counterintuitive to think that at the heart of recovery is love and at the heart of businesses rest.

There not a lot of people who are demonstrating these. And yet, when you listen closely to what your body is saying and connect into those states, you become more aligned with your own self, with your body and your mind. And you're able to recover from each day of work, from the activities and the tasks that you do, whatever sports that you play. And you're more able to take closer care of yourself so that you can share your genius with the world. So that you can create the structure that is needed.

Because really, you're not here at this time by accident. You're here, at this time on purpose. You're not taking up square footage. And one thing I have learned over time is the greatest form of self-love is acting in integrity of who I am. And when we operate from that place there is a well of clarity. There is a well of stamina and we don't blow through it nearly in the way that we may have in the past.

I've seen that with myself. I have seen that with my clients and my trainees. There's just a deliberateness and a specificity to how it is that they act, and it begins with this notion of becoming clear on your states. And I've shared three of those in this episode.

Can you notice when you are in your Jedi, knowing, intuitive, agile, nimble self? Can you notice when you are in fight or flight? Can you notice when you're in collapse? And can you name those states so you can be deliberate in your discernment? And you can know when you are in each, knowing that none of them are wrong. They're just quality of states of being a human. And can you have your own back knowing that you can care for yourself no matter which one that you are in?

Now, if you resonated with this conversation you are going to love my upcoming program on revealing human potential where we dig into this notion of feeling. I would say that it is my best work to date. It is conversations and concepts that I've shared with my trainees, with my private one to one clients, but I do not often speak about publicly out of concern and fear. But I am holding my heart, I'm taking a big gulp, and I am now sharing it with the world.

If through this episode, you want to share about what your states are, what you're discerning, how you can be deliberate and recognizing when you're in each of those three states. By all means, send us an email, I'd love to hear from you. And you can reach us at [email protected]. Happy exploring.

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