Podcast: Episode 72: Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can


My clients are super smart. They know how to bring together lots of information and come up with solutions. They are good at holding lots of data and are highly intuitive. But they are not so good at feeling.

So often in our world, it’s all about managing symptoms and fixing things. But the process of recovery and healing is not one of fixing, but one of feeling. Try as you might, pushing aside symptoms or trying to fix them will only last so long. They will keep coming back until you are willing to feel.

In this episode, I’m discussing what it is to recover and heal and explaining why some people recover more quickly than others. I’m sharing the importance of feeling your body’s sensations, emotions, and vibrations, and how doing so will enable you to heal more quickly.

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What You'll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why I’m so effective at what I do.
  • A key reason why older people get better faster.
  • How to view your symptoms as a guide and work with them.
  • The reason some people don’t heal fully.
  • How to tune into the whispers before hearing the screams.

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Male Announcer: You’re listening to From Pain to Possibility with Susi Hately. You will hear Susi’s best ideas on how to reduce or even eradicate your pain and learn how to listen to your body when it whispers so you don’t have to hear it scream. And now here’s your host, Susi Hately.

Welcome back to From Pain to Possibility. I so appreciate your being here, listening to this episode, and really being able to dig into what it is to recover and really to heal. I know so often in our world it's all about managing symptoms and fixing stuff. And I like to be the voice of well, yep, that is possible. And there's this other way.

There's an art and a science to this thing called recovery and to healing and I really want to be that voice to open up the conversation in your own soul and in your own brain. Particularly if you're listening to this, there's some belief that you know that this is true. To those of you who are the medical brains, I want to assure you that what I am talking about is not wing-nutty. I am a scientist in the truest sense.

I like to follow results. I like to create hypotheses. I'd like to experiment. And then based off of those results, I move forward. Two of my yoga programs have been studied at a university level. One on cancer recovery, another one on idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. The reason why I wanted to get my programs studied was because I had seen the anecdotal evidence and I wanted to see that show up in a research, a formalized research process. And lo and behold, both of those programs showed significance.

One of the reasons I am so effective with what it is that I do is because it's not just me doing the work. I'm asking my clients to do something very, very important through their process of recovery. I'm teaching my clients how to feel. My clients are super smart, they know how to bring together disparate pieces of information and they know how to come up with solutions. They're very good at holding a lot of data in their head.

And they're also highly intuitive, which means that they can perceive something, just say yes, this is the right answer, no questions asked, boom, go they go. But they're not good at feeling, as I mentioned. In fact, they suck at feeling.

What do I mean by feeling? I mean feeling in the truest sense of the word, meaning feeling their body’s sensation and feeling the emotion and the vibration of that emotion. So what do I mean by that? By body sensation, if you rub your hands together, like I'm doing right now, you can feel the rubbing of your hands. Feeling your foot touching the floor. Feeling the tension that's wherever in your body.

And then emotion, think about joy, or anger, or frazzledness, or wired. Where do you feel those emotions in your body? And how do you feel that vibration of emotion?

Over the years, particularly in my lifetime, I have seen a steady moving away from emotion and sensation as being guiding forces. Now, I do see pockets of medicine and pockets of other aspects of life returning to them, particularly as we're coming out of the pandemic and understanding how important it is to be somatically aware as a process for improving someone's mental health. So that's becoming more of a construct that is being addressed.

Same thing with helping people heal from trauma, is to be coming into the space of somatic awareness. So it is a conversation that is getting its place. But the reality is, again, that so many of my clients have learned how to become very brainy, very logical, and bring in their intuition. So they haven't relied on their body, they haven't needed to.

But now they're in a predicament, their symptoms aren't improving. And they are F bomb, F bomb, annoyed. They're pissed off because they can't solve the problem and they are someone who is used to solving a problem. And try as they might, it's not working. They want to fix it, it's not working. Because it's not a problem to fix, it's a problem to feel.

And when I look back over my career, the people who've recovered the fastest are those people who are willing to feel and not just intellectualize the process. Because the process of recovery and healing is not one of fixing, it is a process of feeling. I love the line– You've heard me say it before– When you listen to the body when it whispers, you do not have to hear the screams. Keywords in there are listen, body, whisper, scream.

If you aren't feeling, you are not going to connect any of those words. You are not going to connect the listening. You're not going to connect to body. You're not going to be able to connect to whisper. You're not going to be able to connect to scream. And I will tell you that this can be an entirely frightening prospect for people.

“You want me to do what?” They say. Yep, You need to feel symptoms aren't for fixing, they aren't for blowing past, they aren't for pushing aside. You could try, but it won't last for that long. Endure, you might, but they'll keep coming back until you're willing to feel.

Now I understand sometimes it can be super frightening, really feel unsafe. So then at that time, then it's not the time to feel. For sure, not the time. But when you get that intuitive hit, when you've deduced by logical assimilation of the information, you'll know that it will be time to feel. You'll know that that's the missing link for you.

My clients range in age from about 45, some of them are younger but many of them are about 45, and they crest 65. I've got a number of them who are over 70. Here's what's really interesting, is the older the person is the faster they get better. Say, what? It's been my statement throughout my career, is that the older a person is, the faster they get better.

And a key reason is because they're willing to feel. They've been through life long enough to know, “Okay, all this brain work, all my intuition, it's gotten me so far. But now I actually need to slow down enough because quality becomes more important.” They're willing to go there. They’ve seen what works, they’ve seen what hasn't worked and they need some help in improving upon that.

So when people are willing to come into that space, that's when they make those big gains. It's also what brings to light this whole thing about I've yet to see anyone express their condition in the same way. Bring two people together, same condition, they express it entirely different. So they're going to get a different programs.

Yes, there are some similarities, but overall I have yet to see any person, or any two people, any three people, any four people get through a concussion in the same way. So we can't just address it based off of symptoms, people will fall through the cracks that way. And we do need to teach them how to feel.

We do need to teach them how to connect to the conversation, I like to call it, under the conversation. Where that top level conversation are the symptoms, and then there is a deeper conversation. Not too deep, not heavy.

It's just that there's this other conversation, there's a wisdom of our body. There's a wisdom in the symptoms. There's the inner authority, that inner compass, that inner wisdom that's guiding us, which is letting us know that in fact these symptoms aren't out to get us. They're not the thing that's trying to knock us back. It's not making us decrepit, but rather it's evolving us it's asking us to grow. It’s asking us to tune in to the very best part of ourselves and hone that.

And as you connect into that, that's when the real recovery and healing happens. That's why on Friday, before recording this, I received a message not just from one person, but from two people post-concussion who were exalting in how many hours they worked.

And they both said, “Well, you know, not that I want to work this many hours. But the fact that I could even do it is amazing. I never ever imagined that I could finish a hard day at work and not have a migraine, and not feel all dizzy, and feel crappy, and nausea, and all that, all the things.” And not only that, they recovered the next day and they were back at it.

But they did it differently. They didn't get the same program and they had different results, though both of them had great results because I was able to help them tune into themselves.

Now what's important to know about one of those folks, is one of those folks was actually told by a physio to suck it up. She had to push through the nausea, she had to push through the pain, to not listen, basically, to her body because her body was lying, because her brain was interpreting the pain.

Which follows all the pain science that is out there. Except it misses out on the fact that there is an intelligence inside of us. And I know that sounds kind of goofy, and a little bit hooky and wooy and all that. But the reality is, is that when we listen to our body, we don't have to hear the scream. And that helps grow an inner well of safety that is the greatest source of inner control and inner knowing. It's the part of us that has our back.

Until somebody feels safe inside, they won't heal fully. So for someone external to them to say to suck it up, everything is safe, you're fine, just go for it. That doesn't address the inner feelings of not being safe.

And yet when I can teach my client how to feel safe by way of listening to their body when it whispers so they don't have to hear it scream, when I can teach them how to do that, they grow their own well of safety. They make their own decisions utilizing the information their healthcare professionals are giving them and all sorts of other people around them are giving them. But it's through the filter of their knowing.

And when people make decisions through the filter of their knowing, they are the best decisions. And even if they goof up and they make a mistake, oh well, now they've got better information, they've got more information from which they can make the decision. That's all part of the process of learning, the process of discovery.

And that's what happens when someone works with me is they learn how to trust themselves again. They learn how to feel. They learn that inner wisdom.

So initially, they kind of make these stop and go progress. And then it's like, “Oh, now I get it.” And then it starts to pick up pace because they're able to tune into those whispers, what I like to call the yellow lights, so that they can make better and better decisions that they don't have to hear the screams, those red light sources of pain.

The bottom line is this, don't dismiss your symptoms. Your symptoms are a guide. And when you can perceive them as a guide and learn how to work with them, you start to come into the space that is truly the art of recovery and of healing.

You can pull in all the scientific evidence, and all the information that your variety of healthcare professionals are giving you, you can put it all on the table and you can filter it through your own inner authority. And from that space, you make your decision. And it's the best decision you can make for yourself. But you've got to feel.

Now, if this is starting to resonate a little bit for you, you're starting to recognize that there is this correlation between what's going on with your body, that you are really good at bringing in disparate pieces of information, you're also quite intuitive and perceptive. That you're kind of connecting with, wow, you know what? I really don't feel. I'm a little scared to feel, it’s a bit vulnerable to feel. But maybe feeling is something I need to do to help myself listen to the whispers so I don't have to hear the screams. And I want Susi's help.

So there's two ways that we can work together. The first is through Healing and Revealing Human Potential because in my mind, the recovery process is just that. It really is allowing our symptoms to guide us forth into what our real potential is because our symptoms are actually asking us to tune into our inner authority. And when we do that, some remarkable things happen.

And you might prefer to work on an individual level, on a one to one level. And if there's something there that is nudging at you and niggling at you, then do send us an email at [email protected], and then Kia will be able to give you more information. And you can ask all the questions that you need to make the very, very best decision for yourself.

The bottom line is this, you've got to feel to heal. You’ve got to connect your great, great, awesome brain and your intuitive ability with the information that sits somatically in your body. When you bring those three things together, that triad, remarkable results happen.

I'd love to be your guide on this path. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. We'll see you next time.

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If you have questions, or wish to speak to Kiya or Caitlin directly, reach out to us at [email protected]